“When I heard that I got my ‘period’, I fainted. While it was normal for other girls in my school, it was not normal for me. Since then, I began to feel ashamed. I would lock myself in my room during those 5 days of menstruation every month,” recounted Mohul.
Mohul got his period, because he was born as a girl child named Megha Sharma. “I never felt comfortable in a woman’s body. I would always pray to God at night to make me a boy when I wake up in the morning,” shared Mohul who would enjoy playing boys’ sports and with boys’ toys from childhood. Unfortunately, he had to drop out of school after class 10th, because of the dress code bullying.
“However, when I watched an episode of ‘Satyamev Jayate‘, which featured the story of Gazal Dhaliwal (screenwriter, dialogue writer, storyteller, an LGBTQAI+ activist, and a proud trans woman) all my confusion and dilemma disappeared. I discovered that there are people out there like me and I could change my physical appearance to sync with my feelings and soul,” said Mohul. Once he was sure of himself, he gradually revealed his truth to his family.
Acceptance matters
It took Mohul’s father approximately 1.5 years to truly comprehend and embrace him. “I was so happy that, eventually, my father understood me, and he helped me with my transition. He worked overtime to earn more to sustain my surgery expenses. From selecting better doctors to hospitals, he was with me all the time,” Mohul shared. After gender re-assignment surgery, currently, Mohul is working with Lalit Group of Hotel as a Senior DEI Associate. He has been into the hospitality industry for six years now.
“I prefer to remain in the corporate sector and focus on raising awareness among people. My goal is to develop policies, particularly for the transgender community and to ensure they have access to employment opportunities. I aim to create an environment where they can work with dignity and respect,” concluded Mohul.
Mohul is not the only one who suffered due to having a body which is not in sync with his soul. As per the 2011 census, India’s transgender population was around 4.88 lakh. Since the data is 13 years old, the number might have increased immensely.
Every trans individual suffers. Many of them are thrown out of the house because of their queer sexuality, but a few are privileged to have understanding families who accept them and support them in their endeavors.
Body and soul: A constant struggle
Nakshatra was born as a girl, but he never felt like a woman. He felt uncomfortable in his own body. “After a certain age, I stopped looking in the mirror; I hated my body so much,” said Nakshatra, 25-year-old transman. Feeling different and unable to share his mental struggles with anyone, Nakshatra gradually became an angry and isolated person. “I became so angry that even if someone would look at me randomly, I would fight with them. I stopped talking to people and would lock myself in my room most of the time,” said Nakshatra.
Struggling with bullies in school and college, Nakshatra completed his graduation. But the Covid lockdown in 2020 triggered him to come out. He revealed to his parents and brother about his feelings of being different, the bullying, and his discomfort with his body. “I spoke and cried for three and half hours straight. What surprised me was that my parents didn’t interrupt me. They were patient and trying to understand me better,” Nakshatra recounted.
In the end, his father said something that gave him a sigh of relief and removed the stress he had been feeling about coming out and his queer sexuality.
Towards a new world
After his transition with gender re-assignment surgery, Nakshatra excelled in sports. From his childhood, Nakshatra was interested in sports, but could not get a chance to play, he has been now pursuing it as a hobby.
Recently, Nakshatra has embarked on a journey into competitive bodybuilding. His most recent competition took place in December, held in Vadodara, where he won a gold medal.
Since 2020, Nakshatra has been actively participating in various events and consistently emerging victorious. Notably, in 2020, he ventured to Manali for the Friendship Peak expedition alongside a team entirely of transgender individuals, encompassing both trans women and trans men, setting a remarkable world record. Subsequently, he has led his team to triumph in a cricket tournament, where he served as captain, steering the Delhi team to victory.
“Before transition, I had no aim in life and was a short-tempered person. Now, I am a calm and composed personality and achieving milestones in sports and have big dreams,” said Nakshatra.
Overcoming inner struggle with gender re-assignment surgery
Another transman, Aryan Pasha, was so privileged that he went through the transition at the age of 19. Aryan based in Delhi, had to drop out of college, post 12th class, due to constant bullying. Fortunately, his family understood him, but the struggle was internal. He was confused about his life’s direction.
“I wasn’t much concerned about what others will think of me. But the fight was within myself such as where my life will land or how my life will be as a transman,” said Aryan. As his family was open to dealing with everything, he underwent his transition or gender re-assignment surgery at the age of 19 and proceeded with his life.
He further added, “So, when you (as a trans person) go through transition, it’s not just about your body’s transition; it’s about the mindset and how you perceive your life.”
Initially unsure about where his life would lead, Aryan, gender re-assignment surgery, is now a bodybuilder and queer activist. He conducts numerous sessions related to trans-inclusivity and CSR for Gender Re-assignment Surgery (GRS) with multinational corporations (MNCs) and charges a fee for his services. He is also a treasurer (voluntary role) of NNTP (Network for Transgender Persons).
Pieces of advice for young trans individuals
All three, Mohul, Nakshatra, and Aryan, unanimously suggested that instead of coming out and running away from home due to non-acceptance, focus should be on education and achieving financial independence.
“Education is the key. Many trans individuals struggle because they come out to their families, who do not accept them, and they have to run away. As a result, they cannot pursue better education and struggle to improve their lives, adding to their miseries,” said Aryan.
Nakshatra added that once you are financially independent, the chances of getting acceptance increase. “Moreover, families are more concerned about your life’s outcome as a trans person. When they realize you’re independent and earning, their stress about your life fades,” said Nakshatra.
Mohul suggested having patience and giving time to families to understand you better. “We as trans individuals take 15-20 years to understand ourselves, how can we expect our parents and other family members to understand and accept us instantly?” questioned Mohul.
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